Are you sitting comfortably? No? Oh well, I’m going to begin anyway…
Once upon a time, a mud-smeared wizard took an unbelievebly dull website and threw it in her cauldron. She added some soil and a frog then stirred it vigorously with a bent tent pole. This was an incredible talent she possessed, she’d been told she was the best stirrer in all the land, and she was pretty skilled at breaking tent poles, too. After mumbling something about frogs, Prince Charming and a witty online dating profile, she suitably got back to the task in hand – creating a spellbinding website.
Unfortunately for the wizard, she was lousy at spells and the frog simply leapt out. She peered into the cauldron but there was no enchanting website to be found.
“Bugger!” shouted the wizard, for she knew she’d have to write it herself. She picked up a pen, because writing on a keyboard simply sounds rubbish, and conjured up the most alluring text ever to be written. And just like that, she had become the most sought-after word wizard in the land.⭐
What I can do for you:
📝 Transform dull text into compelling copy
📝 Pen humorous speeches for weddings, business launches, events
📝 Devise original and enticing advertising campaigns
📝 Generate creative slogans and tag lines
📝 Write engaging websites from scratch or overhaul existing ones
📝 Produce enchanting features for print media
📝 Create online blog posts and articles
📝 Perform SEO sorcery
📝 Heck, I might even give you that bent tent pole (but I’m keeping the talking frog)
📝 I specialise in travel, leisure, lifestyle, outdoors, female topics, wellness and fitness with a conversational tone
What I can’t do:
✒ Find you Prince or Princess Charming (but I can write you a witty dating profile)
✒ Write for free under the guise of ‘writing a guest blog post’
Why Hire Me?
✏ I have written for some of the top hotel brands, including Accor, Four Seasons and Avani
✏ I’m a travel-fiend and have created numerous destination guides and reviews for travel websites
✏ I’ve written business profiles, travel features, travel websites, fitness brochures, interviews, spa and hotel reviews for print media and online
✏ I use SEO tactics in online text to help boost its Google rankings
✏ I hate anything mundane, it bores the pants off me, so you won’t get that in any text
✏ If this page has made you smile, I can make your audience smile, too
How Much Do I Charge?
💷 I charge per project, so it all depends on what it is you’re looking for, and it will be quoted in pound sterling (£)
💷 I work remotely so I can write for people and businesses all over the world
💷 Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for a quote
⭐(The wizard’s Prince Charming spell never materialised and she dated men who looked more rotund and 15 years older than their profile pictures. “I’ll just stick to frogs,” she mused, “at least they don’t leave the toilet seat up.”)
Brands I’ve written for include: